Monday, August 30, 2010

Gay?

So, awhile back, I picked up three college age guys on vacation from Smalltown, USA. They told me to take them to a bar in the East Village, and I started heading down 7th Ave. As I'm making the left onto 4th St, one of the guys noticed a lady standing on the corner.

"Holy shit! Check her out! Did you see that?"

The other two saw her, and they were impressed. She was tall, black and gorgeous, wearing a short leather mini skirt and a perfectly fitted corset. Statuesque, with long wavy hair, she was stunning.

One lad decided they should take action.

"Man, she's totally a whore. Just standing on the corner looking like that, she's got to be a whore. Let's get her. We just go back and ask her how much and take her back to the hotel and take turns with her. Come on, let's do it."

It didn't take too much convincing, and his friends agreed. They asked me to go around the block and find the lady. But...

I had noticed two details about her that the guys didn't. First, I didn't think she was a working girl. Her clothing looked too good. For a corset to fit that perfectly, it has to be fitted, and that costs money. Street walkers don't make that kind of cash. They are on the low end of the scale, and are not dressed as expensively. The other detail I noticed, I thought I should tell the boys before they got into something they weren't expecting.

"Uh, guys, you do realize that the lady has a penis, right? "

"What?! No she doesn't. "

"Guys, she's a tranny. A chick with a dick. She has a penis. Trust me. This is the village, after all."

And, the boys went silent, pale with fear and shame. I was amused. These poor, naive kids questioning their sexuality. They thought a tranny was hot. Does this mean they might be...gay? Horror of horrors.

Guys, no, you are not gay. Lusting after a hot trans woman does not mean you're gay. She was gorgeous, and dressed to the nines. Her having a penis does not change the fact that she was sexy. She looked like a sexy woman, and she was a sexy woman. Having a penis doesn't change that simple reality. So, no, you're not gay.

In fact, you could make out with her, and you still would not be gay. After all, she's mostly a woman, and her penis is just one part of her. She's still 95% female.

Hell, go all the way, and sleep with her. She's almost all woman, so it's almost like sleeping with a biogirl. Just that one detail doesn't change the fact that she's female. Looks like a girl, feels like a girl, kisses like a girl. Go ahead, have sex. It's not gay; just a walk on the wild side.

Of course, if, while having sex with the lovely trans lady, you fantasize about Brad Pitt, then you're totally gay.

2 comments:

  1. What if the "lady" has sex with you? Then are you gay?

    What if you see a nice ass and great head of hair from across the room, say, "Damn, I want to hit that," walk over and find out it is a guy. Are you gay then?

    What if you sucked dick for money but didn't like it. Are you gay then?

    These are important questions of the day :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. The answer to all three is "No." Unless, of course, you're fantasizing about Brad Pitt, in which case you're probably gay.

    ReplyDelete