Friday, August 13, 2010

Some advice for lesbians

If I may be so bold, I'd like to offer some advice to lesbians, especially those still in the closet.  But first, the backstory.

I picked up two women in Brooklyn, one slightly drunk, the other very drunk.  They wanted to go to two stops in Manhattan, and I started off, eavesdropping on the way of course, because that's what we do.  Well, Very Drunk was upset over some sort of boy trouble; she cried that all men suck and kept calling herself a loser.  Slightly Drunk consoled the best she could and offered a foot massage to relieve stress.  And, on the ride went with Very Drunk hating on men and Slightly Drunk going from foot massage to back rub.  After awhile, Very Drunk said, " Why are you rubbing my boob? What are you doing?"

Slightly Drunk: "Oh, sorry. I don't know what got into me. I'm drunk."
Very Drunk: "But why would you do that?"
Slightly Drunk: "I'm sorry.  I thought you might like it."
Very Drunk: "I don't. Don't do that."
Slightly Drunk: "I'm sorry"

So my advice for closeted lesbians.  Don't hit on your straight friends by copping a feel when they are most vulnerable.  It probably won't get you laid.  Instead, they will be confused and hurt.  Try telling them you're interested by talking to them instead.  And try to wait until they are at least somewhat over the hurt caused by the boy.

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