I quit smoking about four years ago after I was rushed to the hospital via ambulance with a bout of pneumonia. Well, I mostly quit. I started chewing Nicorette gum, which helps a lot. I can't seem to quit the gum; if I try, I start smoking again. And, every now and then I cheat and have a cigarette, which makes it tough to quit the gum. But I don't really care. Chewing gum for the rest of my life is a hell of a lot better than smoking.
Tonight I stopped for my dinner break, and I checked the back seat of my cab, as always. You never know, I might find cash or a Rolex or a cell phone or a bag of weed. Every now and then I find something interesting that was left behind by a careless passenger. Tonight I found a pack of Maralboro Lights. Not the best brand, not even close. But, good enough to make me tempted. I grabbed the pack and check to see how full it was. About three quarters. Far too much temptation for me to deal with. I considered saving one for after dinner and tossing the rest, but tossing so many smokes is such a waste. What to do?
I was standing there on the sidewalk, facing temptation and losing, when a homeless guy came up to me. He said, "I'll tell you a funny joke for a cigarette." I said, "Sure."
He said, "If Iraq attacked Turkey in the rear, would Greece help?"
I laughed and gave him the whole pack. Dilemma solved.
He studied his windfall and said, "Damn, I didn't think it was that funny."